God's masterpiece- look in the mirror!

Ok ladies, let's talk about our bodies.
I was lying in my bed earlier, thinking about life and what it has in store for me. I realized that if God gave me the chance to instantly change anything I wanted about my body, I wouldn't take it. This isn't because I believe I look like a model or am flawless by any means. I have 3 main reasons for this train of thought.

God doesn't make mistakes.

If we truly believe God to be a perfect, all-knowing God, why do we doubt Him so often? If we truly believe God to be our loving father and guide, why would we believe He would give us a worthless body? God doesn't make mistakes. He wouldn't give you just any body- He made that body *specifically* for you. Your spirit lives in that body- and that is no mistake. In the Book of Mathew, God says: "Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" (Matthew 7:9-11) God is our God, but first He is our father. And what loving father would give their child a worthless, ugly gift?

It wouldn't change anything. 

Have you ever thought about what happens to addicts after they die? People addicted to Alcohol, Meth, Pornography, Coffee, Sugar, Talk Shows-- anything. It is less of what happens to them, and more of what doesn't happen to them. Many (arguably most) addictions are mental as well as they are physical. So it would make sense that after they die, they would still have those cravings and suffer from withdrawals because of their inability to satisfy them. It is the same thing with changing our bodies in unnatural ways. After you get those implants or tighten those wrinkles, the craving and desire never goes away. And since your body is a fixed mass of atoms, you can only change so much. What do you do when you can't do anything else? It is a never ending cycle that will only end in self-hate and depression. No matter how much you change, you will never be happy with who you are until you learn to love yourself as you are. 

We would never learn.

A few summers ago, I had a terrible realization. I tried on my swimsuit and looked down to find the black plague of all flaws-- stretch marks striped across my thighs. This was of course a grave milestone for me. It was the thing that brought me face to face with something that I had been avoiding for years-  I was growing up. At first I looked for quick fixes-- creams and lotions that promised to erase the marks. I then accepted the belief that the only way to rid myself of this curse was to lose any fat in that area, so my skin could shrink back to it's original size. After months of negative thoughts and self-consciousness, I finally concluded that I would just have to live the rest of my life being ugly and undesirable. 

This of course is something we have all experienced. The helplessness of being unable to change the undesirable parts of ourselves, and giving into the lies of the devil that whisper "hate". But if you remember, God never teaches us to hate. No others, not ourselves. What does He teach? "..Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12;31) He does not say "love thy neighbour, but hate yourself all you want." We must love all equally- ourselves included. 

If we were to instantly change ourselves every time something is undesirable or different than we believe it should be, we would never have a chance to learn to love ourselves as we are. We would constantly be chasing an imaginary ideal, only to find ourselves completely lost.  God is an artist, and you are His masterpiece. Why change that? There is no ideal body- if you look throughout history this is evident. Beauty standards change even decade to decade! 

Surround yourself with people who love you the way God loves you. Don't let negative thoughts hold you back from being confident in your own skin. Your body is a precious gift from God, and no beauty standard can change that. 

Sticks and Stones: Why we need to stop babying ourselves

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."

You have heard this before, I guarantee it. Most people focus on the last part, using it to teach about the power of words (words do hurt you, but that is a story for another time). But today  I want to focus on something people don't usually address- the sticks and stones. Have you ever thought about what they actually are? Why is it that we let the sticks and stones hurt us in the first place? I am going to take the liberty of explaining what I think on the subject.

What are sticks and stones?

Imagine a stone hurtling towards you at who-knows-how-many-miles-an-hour. Imagine the fear, panic, and confusion you would feel. This stone would most likely be falling from a high ledge or thrown from the hand of someone else, with possible but not guaranteed ill intent. Imagine attempting to cover your face from the anticipated impact and pain, only to find it hurt your hands just as much as your face.
Can you think of anything else that may entice the same reaction? Our bodies have a natural protective system wired into our very makeup. We are subconsciously on guard, constantly protecting our vital parts and pieces. Though, this is in far more ways than physical.
I'd like you to imagine the stone again. But instead of seeing a fist-sized piece of conglomerate minerals, I want you to see your hardest trial. Something big, uncontrollable, dangerous. Something you probably didn't chose, something that either the world, people around you, or your own biological or chemical makeup is inflicting upon you. Something that may or may not be out of anger, hurt, or lust. Something that gives you those sore neck muscles and tear-soaked cheeks because of how heavy it is to carry.
Your choices seem pretty limited as this stone comes quickly towards you. Cover your face, or let it hit you strait on. Neither are preferable-- and I am here to tell you neither are required.

Why these are stupid, but needed.

Before I go any further, I think it is important to address why we even have these sticks and stones. (I will primarily just be using the example of stones, because honesty, sticks aren't that great of an analogy. Sorry, sticks.) A few common stones come to mind as I write this: Depression, broken family, physical or mental disabilities, abuse (sexual, physical, mental), poverty, addictions, neglect, psychological disorders- if you can name it, it probably counts. I cannot answer the question as to why we have them, but I can say why we need them.
I am a God-fearing Christian, that wholeheartedly believes in a bigger plan. I know God has a reason for putting me here- in this place, with these people and these trials. And I know it takes a lot of courage to look at the mess we call "life" and say thank you, I needed this. But when you think about it, that is all we can do. What better way to create a smooth, polished carving than with sand paper? What better way to smooth out a jagged stone, than thousands of years of water and waves? What better way to harden a beautiful clay sculpture, than a staggeringly hot kiln? The people we want to be like-- that we look up to and admire-- were built by their trials. To have a trial-free life is to have a pointless life. Anything worth striving towards can be achieved through the growth and knowledge gained from trials.

Why we are letting ourselves get hurt.

I am probably preaching to the choir here, so I will get to the point. Don't be a victim. We all have these trials and we all know they suck. If you look throughout history, people idolize those who had sore trials and were able to overcome and become better because of it. So why not you? Were they any less human than yourself? Weren't they just ordinary people trying their best? What makes you any different? What excuse are you riding on, that is keeping you from being just as successful as they were?
There is something called a Victim Mentality. It is the idea that you are subject to the will of whatever is being inflicted upon you. It is the idea that you are powerless, and have no means of making your situation better. let me tell you a hard truth: THAT IS NEVER THE CASE.  Never, in the history of the world, has there been a situation where someone was completely powerless to make it better.
Dr Viktor E Frankl was a Psychologist, Neurologist, Holocaust survivor, and author of the book Man's Search For Meaning. In his book he says: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” We all have agency, if we like it or not. It is our choice if these stones overcome us, no matter how difficult.

Don't beg for pain!

Now please, please do not think I am being naive in saying what I have. I do not claim any expertise on this subject- I am only saying what I have learned from my own trials. No, I don't know what depression feels like. I have never been starving, in a war zone, or had cancer. The only bone I've broken is my nose, and it was completely accidental. I've never had a baby, shot someone, or been paralyzed. I have not had some of the experiences that so many people have had. But I have felt pain. I have been hurt, betrayed, made fun of. I've had bad days, where all you can do is cry and hope sleep comes fast. I have seen loved ones suffer and fight just to be happy each day. I have feared for my life. I may not know what true pain is, but I do know one thing: we are always in control.
Yes, you were wronged. You didn't deserve it! You don't want it! But it's still here. And sometimes you need to put on your big boy pants and just. keep. walking. Playing the victim-- having the mindset that you are powerless and weak and trapped-- is only asking for more pain. It's as if you were the one giving the stones to the throwers, saying "Hit me again! That's all I get anyways."

"With my luck.."

Oh how I hate this saying! This embodies the very mindset that I am tying so strongly to advise you against. The idea that you are destined to have bad things happen to you, simply because you have been wronged before. Do you realize you are creating the very thing you are complaining about? Negative thoughts bring negative results. If you tell yourself over and over that you will be hurt, then you will be hurt. You are telling yourself and everyone around you that you don't deserve any better. How do you expect the rest of the world to react to that? And more importantly, how do you think God feels about that? Having His most precious and valued creation be called weak, powerless, and worth only pain and misery? Can you imagine the pain He feels every time you self-shame, beat yourself down, or think negative thoughts about yourself? Every time you allow yourself to be the victim, you are telling God "I won't let you help me, because I am not worth it." Every time you play the victim, you collect stones to give to your enemies. You are asking, begging to be hurt again, which creates a never-ending cycle of pain.

We need to stop babying ourselves and cradling our wounds. We are far more powerful than we could ever imagine, and with God's help there is not a single trial we cannot overcome. We are not our circumstances, and the sooner we learn this the better. There is a big 'ol world out there just waiting to be discovered. There are people out there waiting to be touched by your courage and strength, as you have been by others before you. Don't let them down. Don't let yourself down. There is enough chocolate in this world to keep you going, I promise.